Sometimes I hoped that my memories with you were nothing but a dream or a delusion. I have struggled to convince myself that they never happened. Each time I tried to push them into the dark, they came back stronger and more vivid than ever. But they retained no sense of warmth or intimacy.
Then it struck me how distant we are now. It took us ages to get a hold of new selves that were better suited to each other. It wasn't easy for the two of us to build something out of nothing. It seemed unreal that we have gone that far and ended in nothingness.
But the pain is real. It would come without warning, and disappear just as suddenly. Those momentary flood of good times dissolve and melt before it takes full shape.
It was the torture of being unable to attain a clear view of those memories that I suffered most.
I can't find the image, I'm standing still, and I can't find the image.
I feel you dear. The more we want to push it back, the more they come back and try to haunt us(?) or me. Back to that background you have. Memories are great things if you don't have to deal with the past...
ReplyDeleteyeah..so i guess the best way is not to repress it but let it come and go...then as andrea said...create new ones :)
Deletethat's why fml with memories.
ReplyDeleteguys my favorite quote again:
ReplyDelete曾經十分重要的人最終離開了我的生活，可惜嗎？Well，一個壞了的飯煲，即使曾經煮出美味無比的飯，壞了就是壞了。你攬住個飯煲喊三天，依然無法改變它壞了的事實。丟掉一件垃圾有什麼可惜？更何況，世上能煮一手好飯的飯煲又豈止一個？
hahaaha love this! i'm waiting for a good 飯煲!!! thank you cedric :')
Deletethe concept of human bonds can be difficult to grasp. Sometimes i wonder whether relationships can truly fade and disappear as well. All those memories...they existed and never stop existing. Even when you no longer have a vivid picture of those moments, from time to time they will just come back and haunt you out of the blue...it's almost like seeing a ghost when you are not expecting... We seem to feel better after the "ghost" disappears but there is definitely something lingering on..It's hard to let go of things completely, and i guess the only way to move on is to accept that we will have to live with the memories, both the pleasant and the upsetting ones :( but! those memories are the things that make you YOU! the next thing you need to do is to step out of the comfort zone, find someone/something new, and fill yourself with new memories :) I am with u!
ReplyDeletethank you for your serious reply (not that others are not!) but i'm really touched choi choi zi! I hope i'd be ready soon to create new memories : ) just waiting that time to come...
Delete