人越大，越害怕。 你已經不再是一個死小孩，要背負更大更沈重的責任了。你不能再單一地追求自己的目標及接受一個「比較好」的結果，而是要顧及你愛的人是否值得更好-或是最好的回報，然後拼命回饋他們。 你要將最好的留給下一代，不管過程有多難熬。

Are you a....

Maximizer or  Satisficer?

Maximizers...

• are always moving for something better
• want the "best" and outdo others

Satsificers...

• focus on doing well and meeting own standards
• willing to settle for a "good enough" choice

Sadly, I'm constantly weighing other options and consumed with "what I could have had" instead of committing to what I already have.

One of the best things in journalism is that you can have access to anyone across the spectrum, listen to their stories, and string them together into a cohesive piece for readers.

I'm still as nervous as hell when the interviewee is silent on the other side of the phone...but I believe these time & effort will pay. 

情意結讓人停滯不前， 讓你嘗試真相的痛後還是要微笑面對，竭盡所能保護他／她。

Helter Skelter

After watching "Helter Skelter," which is based on a manga by Kyoko Okazaki, I am pervaded by only one emotion: fear.

The movie depicts Lilico, a famous japanese pop star whose face and body have gone through plastic surgery (except for her nails, private part and ears, the only parts that she retained from her biological parents). Her doll-like features and perfect body shape swept numerous young girls' minds, which echo the obsession with beauty and "kawaii" culture in Japan. To satisfy her insatiable need for perfection, she has to  visit an expensive plastic surgeon regularly, whose ethics-free operation is backed by powerful politicians and artists. But at the peak of her success, the after-effects of her body modification starts to kick in. She has growing patches of blue-ish purple on her skin that can only be concealed by more make-up and injecting more chemicals/pills. The arrival of another model who is born beautiful, eventually overtook most of the magazine covers and Lilico is extremely threatened by her existence. She cannot help but going through more modifications to maintain her fame. This marks the journey of her depravity, where plastic surgery becomes an addiction and she exhausted all means to destroy those who are obstructing her path. She manipulates those who truly cared about her–most evidently her assistant – to alleviate her pain as they fall from grace together.

I'm not going to reveal the ending, but her downfall is clearly reflective of the modern Japanese society, where the mass is consistently seeking visual gratification. On the one hand, Lilico is a consumer of cosmetic plastic surgery, and on the other hand, there are those who just consume her images. The public, however, do not even imagine how hard Lilico had worked to get into her position– and how hard she still has to work in order to stay. The film did a great job juxtaposing both ends: the star spends hours and hours a day examining herself in the mirror, admiring her magazine shoots and going through all kinds of medication and physical pain, alone; and then the teenagers buying Lilico's products, admiring her images and striving to look more like the star. The star basically spends her entire life to entertain the public, yet the public quickly forgets her when another beautiful star arises.

It's a pain to watch this movie because of the physical intensity that is realistically portrayed. The psychological breakdown of Lilico is disturbing, slowly peeling her glamorous appearance and the dark side of the entertainment industry. But this is one of the best psychological thriller that I've ever watched.

Just now naive am I to cling onto the hope that you can stop being a bystander when your very actions contributed to this mess.

ouch

Doesn't it make you sad when people use your product only because there's a connection or an advantage (be it time, cost, effort, supply...); and how easy it is for them to walk away with it. I'm fraught with this type of disappointment.