In my mind

My heart is pounding and I can't sleep.

No matter how much I occupied myself with work, every night ends up like this.

Stare into emptiness. Evaluate how I acted today. How others acted. Time passing. Opportunities fading. Regrets mounting. The good others did to me. The bad I did. Vice versa.. Balancing all those.

What screws me most is the picture
of how things should've turned out.